emansil

After not being around for months, I seem to be all over the place now.

This is a somewhat humiliating question, and I apologize for having to ask it. I'm of large size, extra large size. Size 22-24 to be exact, and I'm starting to hear and read about horror stories of people being declined seats on the flights. Apparently, purchasing a 2nd seat is an option. I cannot afford a 2nd seat on a flight to Prague. Tht's not an option.

Can any of you who may be in the same size situation I'm in tell me--have you traveled in the last year? Did you have any trouble? Did you buy the 2nd seat? Anything you can advise me would be helpful.

So, I'm scheduled to go to Prague a week from today. Scheduled, in that I've purchased the package with air and hotel included. There is still a possibility that I may not go.

But if I do, are there any of my European based friends that are anywhere near it, that we could maybe arrange a meet and greet of some type, lunch, dinner, drinks, coffee?

Just let me know if we can maybe work out the details in email or messaging.



(And yes, I know I've not been around much--but life and you know-stuff-gets in the way).

So this trying to get back involved in things again is exhausting me. I just spent 45 minutes and responded to something like six posts. And I'm ready to curl back in my hole again. I think the fact that I think and rethink, rethink every single comment I make. Does it make sense, am I responding to the right thing, does it sound off the walls crazy? It's all just too much in my brain thinking. And clearly I am overthinking it, just like I do everything. So yeah, it's exhausting.


But in other news. Do you remember there used to be this friend of friends tab you could use on LJ? Does anyone know where it's gone to? I can't seem to find it on my home PC, but when I was traveling and had to log in to LJ from the tablet, it was there. I'd love to find it again, cause it was a great way to meet new friends, or just read interesting posts. If you know how to access it please let me know.

If anyone has any time or interest, I could use a second pair of eyes and some assistance on a fic I'm working on for cross-gen. I hope to get it finished by the extension Ive been given.

I've a quandary that I'm trying to work out and would love to have someone to discuss it with and get their thoughts.

oh, and I'll be needing a beta as well.

Feel free to comment on either DW or LJ, or you can send me an PM.

Thanks,

It's been a while since I've rambled about this, that or the other. I'm sure you've all missed it. Not. lol.

Tomorrow will mark the 2 month mark of my temporary early retirement. I say temporary, as I know there is no way I'll be able to go without ever working again. I wish, as I truly love not having a job. I don't love not having money to do everything I want, but I'm actually managing quite well, in terms of doing most of everything I want.

The only thing that I'm running into an issue with is time. There's just not enough of it. Which makes me wonder what the situation would be if I was still working full time, plus the lunch times, plus driving. That's equal to about 50 hours a week of what I'd call non productive time. Time wise, I can't afford to return to work.

I'd planned on using this time to a: get in shape--which omg is so hard and takes so much time, the exercising, the planning meals, the cooking meals, the making sure you're eating healthy. And even after all that, the scale is not moving. It's so depressing that you just want to give it all up.

The second thing I had planned was to finish up some of the large quantity of started, yet unfinished stories. There are a few that I hope to complete and submit for fests, but I'm still not anywhere near where I wanted to be. I'm finding it all rather stressful.

Speaking of, I sort of had a mini meltdown today. Worry about the stories I've not finished, stories that are due for fests that I seem to be somewhat stalled on. worry about house and home projects not done, worry about the overwhelming number of books I have cluttering up the house. Worry about whether the mini-fest I'm running is going to be a complete bomb or not.

So what did I do to ease my high level of anxiety? why what any book addict would do. I went to the bookstore, bought way too many books, and then went to the library and checked out even more books. Books that I know I'll never be able to finish. Add to that my daily dose of BookBub suggested purchases and again the number of books to finish becomes ever more worrisome. Now, I know I'm not the only one here with these problems, yet it still causes me to go into major meltdowns.

Now, I'm not sure if I was having a pre-warning of the upcoming meltdown the other night. I literally got no sleep. I was awake, fully awake for 30 plus hours before I was finally able to shut the brain of enough to take a one and half hour nap.

During my wake hours I found the first HarryDraco story I ever wrote. Well, I found part of it. Chapter 1 seems to be among the missing as is chapter 9 and the epilogue. And its soooo bad. I clearly had no idea what I was doing. Each chapter was posted in a different colour I had another male character that was so totally a Gary Stu that it makes me cringe a bit. Plus the beta I had always sent the chapters back with an hour of my sending them, and nothing was ever corrected. Anyone who has ever written anything knows there should always be some sort of corrections, and for me, assuredly lots of corrections.

Still it was fun to find it, since pretty much everything I wrote under my original LJ name is long gone. Partly due to deleting that journal, but mostly due to destruction of everything when I had the major meltdown New Year's eve 2011.

There are times when I wonder why I ever went back to writing. Maybe things would be better off if I'd just left it. I mean its fun, but its just so much work, and takes so much time. And there you are putting your very being out there for people to flame, or more likely to ignore. And I understand, because sadly I do the same thing. I may like something--a lot, but it is rare of me to say anything. And that was something I noticed when I was looking at things from the past. I used to be much better about commenting. I just don't anymore, and I'm honestly not sure why, or how to change that behavior. Oh I know how to change it, it's the actual changing it, that I struggle with.

And I've rambled on way, way too long. The positive thing though is, even though I still have the meltdowns and the mood swings, they are usually short lived. Unlike the past where the mood shifts could last for days or sometimes even weeks. These are usually only a day or two at the most. I'm sure not having to go into a job is a huge help in that direction.

I decided that I really wanted Harry to have a celebration for his birthday this year.

Still getting things together, like banners for the community. This is just the pre-announcement, announcement.

All the information can be found at party_4_potter.


I do hope others will join us there.

And once I have banners, I'll post those as well.

I'm trying to kickstart my writing gene, as it seems to be MIA, except there hasn't been any action to go missing from.

I was thinking about trying to fill some of the prompts from the Anywhere but the Bed comment fest, only I don't know if that's allowed since the deadline to fill them is long past. But they're ones that should be able to be filled in a relatively short number of words. So can some one tell me, is that allowed.

If not, if anyone would like to give me some fairly simple prompts, that would be lovely. You're welcome to give me pairings too, if you'd like. I'm pretty much all slash all the way, but I'm open to trying any and all slash pairings.

This originally posted on DW, you can comment here or there.

I'm here. Not sure how active I'm going to be, but I'm here.

So there are a large number of posts recently about people leaving LJ and moving to DW. And I totally understand, especially in light of recent events both here on LJ and in the world in general. LJ belonging to the Russians is probably not an exactly safe space to be in. Which I find horribly sad for multitude of reasons.

The thing is, I'm afraid I'll never figure DW out. Most of those who know me, know that anything remotely tech is something I struggle with. I barely had LJ figured out, then I left and now it is tres, tres different from when I was here before. Let me tell you if it wasn't for the cute little visual editor icons, I'm not sure I could remember how to post.

Then again since LJ is requiring a relearning, maybe I should go ahead and learn DW instead, or at least along with.

I'll let you all know what I ultimate decide.