emansil: (Default)
If anyone has any time or interest, I could use a second pair of eyes and some assistance on a fic I'm working on for cross-gen. I hope to get it finished by the extension Ive been given.

I've a quandary that I'm trying to work out and would love to have someone to discuss it with and get their thoughts.

oh, and I'll be needing a beta as well.

Feel free to comment on either DW or LJ, or you can send me an PM.

emansil: (Default)

Art by [personal profile] anemonen | Banner by [personal profile] capitu

Username: (optional)
Pairing: Can be anyone, just as long as it includes Harry, of course, and Draco must be in the mix somewhere. Even if he’s just an innocent bystander
Dislikes: (please limit to 3)
Anything else (optional): (anything else you want to add to your prompt)

emansil: (Default)
It's been a while since I've rambled about this, that or the other. I'm sure you've all missed it. Not. lol.

Tomorrow will mark the 2 month mark of my temporary early retirement. I say temporary, as I know there is no way I'll be able to go without ever working again. I wish, as I truly love not having a job. I don't love not having money to do everything I want, but I'm actually managing quite well, in terms of doing most of everything I want.

The only thing that I'm running into an issue with is time. There's just not enough of it. Which makes me wonder what the situation would be if I was still working full time, plus the lunch times, plus driving. That's equal to about 50 hours a week of what I'd call non productive time. Time wise, I can't afford to return to work.

I'd planned on using this time to a: get in shape--which omg is so hard and takes so much time, the exercising, the planning meals, the cooking meals, the making sure you're eating healthy. And even after all that, the scale is not moving. It's so depressing that you just want to give it all up.

The second thing I had planned was to finish up some of the large quantity of started, yet unfinished stories. There are a few that I hope to complete and submit for fests, but I'm still not anywhere near where I wanted to be. I'm finding it all rather stressful.

Speaking of, I sort of had a mini meltdown today. Worry about the stories I've not finished, stories that are due for fests that I seem to be somewhat stalled on. worry about house and home projects not done, worry about the overwhelming number of books I have cluttering up the house. Worry about whether the mini-fest I'm running is going to be a complete bomb or not.

So what did I do to ease my high level of anxiety? why what any book addict would do. I went to the bookstore, bought way too many books, and then went to the library and checked out even more books. Books that I know I'll never be able to finish. Add to that my daily dose of BookBub suggested purchases and again the number of books to finish becomes ever more worrisome. Now, I know I'm not the only one here with these problems, yet it still causes me to go into major meltdowns.

Now, I'm not sure if I was having a pre-warning of the upcoming meltdown the other night. I literally got no sleep. I was awake, fully awake for 30 plus hours before I was finally able to shut the brain of enough to take a one and half hour nap.

During my wake hours I found the first HarryDraco story I ever wrote. Well, I found part of it. Chapter 1 seems to be among the missing as is chapter 9 and the epilogue. And its soooo bad. I clearly had no idea what I was doing. Each chapter was posted in a different colour I had another male character that was so totally a Gary Stu that it makes me cringe a bit. Plus the beta I had always sent the chapters back with an hour of my sending them, and nothing was ever corrected. Anyone who has ever written anything knows there should always be some sort of corrections, and for me, assuredly lots of corrections.

Still it was fun to find it, since pretty much everything I wrote under my original LJ name is long gone. Partly due to deleting that journal, but mostly due to destruction of everything when I had the major meltdown New Year's eve 2011.

There are times when I wonder why I ever went back to writing. Maybe things would be better off if I'd just left it. I mean its fun, but its just so much work, and takes so much time. And there you are putting your very being out there for people to flame, or more likely to ignore. And I understand, because sadly I do the same thing. I may like something--a lot, but it is rare of me to say anything. And that was something I noticed when I was looking at things from the past. I used to be much better about commenting. I just don't anymore, and I'm honestly not sure why, or how to change that behavior. Oh I know how to change it, it's the actual changing it, that I struggle with.

And I've rambled on way, way too long. The positive thing though is, even though I still have the meltdowns and the mood swings, they are usually short lived. Unlike the past where the mood shifts could last for days or sometimes even weeks. These are usually only a day or two at the most. I'm sure not having to go into a job is a huge help in that direction.
emansil: (Default)
I just finished my [profile] cross_genfic and I've struggled with the more intimate parts of the fic. I've written two versions of the sex bits, and I'm not at all sure which one is best. I'm looking for the one that will give the reader the most feels. After having written and read it so many times, I'm all out of feels. LOL.

Would someone be willing to read the two versions and just tell me which one they would prefer? No betaing would be involved, (unless you can't let a comma error pass you by without the need to correct it) and you don't even have to read the entire thing. Just this bit.

It would really help me out.

Oh, and in other news: Banners for [community profile] party_4_potterare being worked on, and should be revealed soon.

I'm rather excited about this!
emansil: (Default)
I decided that I really wanted Harry to have a celebration for his birthday this year.

Still getting things together, like banners for the community. This is just the pre-announcement, announcement.

All the information can be found at [community profile] party_4_potter.

I do hope others will join us there.

And once I have banners, I'll post those as well.
emansil: (Default)
Decisions, Decisions?

I've been trying to get back into writing in the last couple of months. Some days it's really good, other days...not so much.

I've signed up for a couple of fests already that I'm very much looking forward too. Now I'm trying to decide which other ones I think I'd like to participate in.

The thing is, I'm:

One--extremely slow at writing.

Two--Subject to intense mood swings, in which I want, and often do, throw out everything I've completed and promise myself to never write or attempt to write again, EVER!

Three--very aware of the intense brilliance of so many of the writers in this fandom. I can't begin to compare.

Now, this all brings me to hd_erised. Year after year, I think about signing up. Each year I flail at the end and end up not signing up. Now, Erised is the cream of the cream of the crop in terms of quality of fic that is submitted. I'm sort of terrified that if I do sign up, and made the deadline, (seriously I've never seen anything get filled that fast before) what if I have one of the incidences from above and either quit or feel that the fic I submit is sub par. Then I'm going to be really, really depressed.

I'm not sure what I'll do. Hopefully I'll feel more confident and determined by the time sign-ups are here.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice for me?
emansil: (pic#11287837)
I'm trying to kickstart my writing gene, as it seems to be MIA, except there hasn't been any action to go missing from.

I was thinking about trying to fill some of the prompts from the Anywhere but the Bed comment fest, only I don't know if that's allowed since the deadline to fill them is long past. But they're ones that should be able to be filled in a relatively short number of words. So can some one tell me, is that allowed.

If not, if anyone would like to give me some fairly simple prompts, that would be lovely. You're welcome to give me pairings too, if you'd like. I'm pretty much all slash all the way, but I'm open to trying any and all slash pairings.

This originally posted on DW, you can comment here or there.
emansil: (pic#11287836)
My first post to DW. I've no idea what I'm doing. This should be fun.

First bit of news. I'm currently among the unemployed, or rather the early retired. Truly, its a wonderful thing. I'm still getting used to it. It's sort of funny, I still find myself trying to hurry through things, and keep thinking I have to get this done before I have to return to work.

But, I don't. I can take as long as I want.

Recently sale of house and buying another at a significantly less cost has enabled me to pay off all bills, and have a hefty amount set aside. Now, rather I can remain among the non-working for any great length of time remains to be seen. Even if I do have to return to employment, I already know of at least 3 places that I'm 85% sure would hire me with no problem. So YAY!!

I've books and fics to read. I've fics to write. I've creative craft projects to complete. I've places to visit. I've volunteer work to do. I've free events in the city to attend To tell the truth I'm not sure I'm going to have the time to do all I want to do.
emansil: (Default)
I'm here. Not sure how active I'm going to be, but I'm here.
emansil: (Default)
"President Donald Trump has signed a repeal of internet privacy rules despite criticism that it threatens to undermine online safety and enable unconstitutional mass surveillance.

The overturning of the Obama-era privacy protections, which was supported by Congress in a March 28 vote, will allow internet providers to share personal information with advertisers and other third parties without consumer consent."

Our Internet Providers, AT&T and Comcast and Charter, or whoever you use, Can Sell your Browsing history, including your online banking history. And they don't even have to tell you who they are selling it to, or even that they are doing so.

Original source material: http://www.newsweek.com/trump-internet-privacy-bill-fcc-578718
emansil: (Default)
So there are a large number of posts recently about people leaving LJ and moving to DW. And I totally understand, especially in light of recent events both here on LJ and in the world in general. LJ belonging to the Russians is probably not an exactly safe space to be in. Which I find horribly sad for multitude of reasons.

The thing is, I'm afraid I'll never figure DW out. Most of those who know me, know that anything remotely tech is something I struggle with. I barely had LJ figured out, then I left and now it is tres, tres different from when I was here before. Let me tell you if it wasn't for the cute little visual editor icons, I'm not sure I could remember how to post.

Then again since LJ is requiring a relearning, maybe I should go ahead and learn DW instead, or at least along with.

I'll let you all know what I ultimate decide.
emansil: (Default)
I'd like to wish the best of days to the lovely and amazing [profile] winnett
Your friendship and support through the years has been the best.

Hope you have an amazing day.
emansil: (Default)

A Bookworm Friending Meme!
emansil: (Default)
For those of you who live in the States, and like me have little or no social life, there is a show of possible interest coming on tonight at 11.30pm central time.

Tom Felton meets the Superfans. It's a documentary where Tom talks to fans and tries to understand what drives their passion. It's listed as being on the *Free* channel. Some of you may have already seen it. I've not, and it looks pretty interesting. I just hope I don't fall asleep before it comes on. :(

This same channel has also been running all the Harry Potter Movies all day and will do so again tomorrow. Just to get and keep you in the mood for all things Harry Potter, I would guess.

Thank you

Feb. 19th, 2017 07:20 pm
emansil: (Default)
First of all, thanks to those of you who have friended me back. I know I've been a bit of a mess when it comes to LJ, but I do appreciate you taking another chance with me. I'm slowly reaching out to folk, and have joined a few new, or rather rejoined some old communities. I don't want to take on too much at the beginning. No point in getting overwhelmed.

There's a vague hope that I'll find some prompt that I'll want to write, but I swear after having dropped out of every fest I signed up for the last year, or even longer, that I was active on LJ, I'm a little shy of signing up. I think my writing bone is permanently broken. I can't seem to finish anything. Just take old words and move them to new places. I can't tell you how much that sucks. Then again, since most of you are writers, or have been, I'm sure you're familiar with the ailment. :(

Hope everyone's weekend went well. Then again, Humpty Dumpty Trump was back on the campaign rally again, keeping us all guessing as to wtf he's talking about now. (Doesn't he realize it' time to stop campaigning and time to start governing? Oh wait, what am I saying?)
emansil: (Default)
So, I've been back about a month, and as usual, I've been very non-communicative. I want to do better. I really do, but something keeps me from putting myself out there. Probably the fear of how people are going to react when they see the name. Chances are there won't be any reaction, other than a shrug of the shoulders and moving on.

But I guess the best way to start is to add some friends. Along with being more actively involved in what makes LJ so great, and the part that I did dearly miss. Communication and feedback. So I'm adding some friends today and hopefully, I'll start communicating more.

When I left lj a year ago, I knew it was something I absolutely had to do. But it was sudden and without warning. I do and will understand if people are gun-shy to friend me back. Hopefully, overtime I can regain your trust.
emansil: (Default)
Truly, not sure what to say here. I'm trying LJ again, as I recently realized I sort of need some sort of community in my life, and Facebook just doesn't do it for me.

I'm not sure how involved or active I will be. Mostly I'll probably lurk as I have in the past, but I do hope and want to m more involved. However, things don't always turn out the way I want them to. I'm trying to learn to accept that, and other things.

I plan on adding some of the friends I remember from the past. Hopefully, people will add me back. But as I did depart rather sudden like before, a few times if we're being completely honest here, I'll understand if a few of you are hesitant to do so.

Mostly, I'm just here to enjoy some great fics and art, and to have a sense of community for the one thing that I've managed to remain passionate about for close to, if not longer than, ten years.

(And if anyone wants to add me first, I sure as heck wouldn't mind, as I've not got any braver in that aspect.)
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